Get Out Of A Shame Spiral-from Karma Gaia

 

What Is It?

Shame spirals are a particular type of negative emotion that can be very destructive. They are sometimes brought on by a sensation of embarrassment or unworthiness. The guilt leads to emotions of worthlessness, which in turn lead to greater shame and isolation. This downward spiral can be very difficult to break out of without help.

Shame triggers like rejection, failure, and disconnection can set off shame spirals. They often stem from feelings of perfectionism and anxiety.

How to Recognize a Shame Spiral

It can be challenging to identify shame spirals, particularly if you already frequently experience negative feelings toward yourself. There are a few distinct indicators, though, that can point to the fact that you are now experiencing one. They include:

Feeling intense shame and humiliation Feeling like you are worth nothing Feeling isolated and alone Difficulty regulating your emotions Acting out in destructive ways

Steps to Break the Shame Spiral

There is no one perfect approach to end a guilt spiral, as each scenario is unique. However, there are a few general steps that can be beneficial.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

First, you have to recognize what you’re feeling. It can be difficult to even recognize that you’re spiraling if you’re used to talking down to yourself often. You may also be tempted to simply ignore the feelings you’re having. Recognizing what’s happening with your emotions, and acknowledge that you need to make a change in your behavior to stop the negative train of thought.

2. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend

As strange as it may seem, speaking to yourself in the third person can assist you in breaking the pattern of unfavorable self-talk. We’re often lot tougher on ourselves than we are on our friends or even strangers, so imagine you’re talking to or about a friend instead of yourself. Recognize how you would extend them mercy or forgiveness for their misdeeds, and try to apply that same sentiment to yourself.

3. Get Grounded

This means that you need to get out of your head and into your body. One way to do this is to focus on your breath. A common exercise is to inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, and exhale for four seconds. Repeat this a few times until you feel more grounded.

To help you focus on what's going on around you rather than the thoughts inside your head, you can also try describing or observing your surroundings or the physical sensations you experience.

4. Get Support from Someone You Trust

One of the primary causes of shame spirals is isolation. According to well-known author and researcher Brene Brown, shame cannot endure when your thoughts are shared with others because it relies on privacy.

Make contact and establish a connection with others. Your support group could consist of friends, family, a support group, or a therapist. Regardless of who you choose to confide in about your feelings, they will probably be able to help you break the cycle by introducing new ideas, helping you see your thoughts more clearly, and helping you be kinder to yourself.

5. Take Action by Serving Someone Else

This step may seem counterintuitive; after all, when you’re in the middle of a crisis, it’s hard enough to take care of yourself, let alone other people. However, serving others is one of the best things you can do to change your attitude and thoughts if you find yourself stuck in a negative self-talk loop.

Serving others encourages us to be loving toward others, express gratitude for what we have, and engage in physical activity—all of which are the antithesis of being mired in self-pity. Even in extremely difficult circumstances, if you can find little ways to show kindness and serve others, it can have a significant effect on your mental health.