Self Love

 

Caregiver Cafe-Milton

 

Positive Self Talk

 

Info for a reliable accountant-Alex Pedersen (reposted from last year 2024)

 

I just wanted to share my very positive experience with Alex Pedersen with my income tax filing this year.  I have never felt this supported by an accountant.  My last one was not helpful with me and actually cost me a lot of money with an error he made.  I was not impressed with this and yet I still stayed and had another issue that he was not very supportive with.  This year I decided to take the leap to find someone new. 

I am so happy to have made this decision!

Alex did not disappoint.  He is CPA-my last accountant was not and I was ignorant as I wasn't aware of this designation.  Alex is extremely affordable.  He was quick, efficient, patient and extremely flexible with me and all of my questions and the concerns I had.

  I would highly recommend Alex without a doubt.

Here is his email for anyone interested : 

pedersenprofservices@gmail.com

Alexander Pedersen, CPA, MMPA

Project Impact for Children Under 4 with Autism Spectrum Disorder

 

April CMHA

 

Pathway to Un-Becoming-CMHA HALTON

 

I am currently doing this program and I do highly recommend taking this.  

Sandra is a phenomenal peer support.  

We work on Breathwork, Mantras and some light Exercise.  

This has been really helping me learn to relax and calm down in my life.  

Check it out.

We are excited to share another Recovery College Pilot Workshop

The 5 Week Experiential Workshop over zoom starts next month. Check the flyer for all the details.

We invite you to consider the following before responding to the email with your expression of interest.

• Is my energy such that I can explore the offering at this time?
• Am I already taking another workshop?
• Am I available to attend all 5 sessions?
• Am I ready and willing to create and commit to, a daily practice on my own between sessions?
• How do I feel about leaning into the discomfort of being on camera each week?

Keep in mind that future workshops will be added to the calendar if the timing doesn't sit well with you this time round.

Trauma-Karma Gaia

 

After years of feeling disconnected from my body and struggling with anxiety that seemed to come out of nowhere, I finally picked up Dr. Bessel van der Kolk's groundbreaking book on trauma. What began as casual reading turned into a 30-day personal experiment that fundamentally changed my relationship with myself. Here's what happened when I committed to daily body-based trauma healing practices.

Week 1: Resistance and Restlessness

I started with the basic breathing and body scan exercises described in the book. Five minutes of focused breathing felt like torture. My mind raced, my legs twitched, and I constantly checked the time. Van der Kolk explains this as the body's resistance to slowing down when it's been in a state of hypervigilance—and mine was clearly screaming in protest.

By day 7, I could sit for ten minutes without checking my phone. Small victory, but significant.

Week 2: The Tears I Didn't Know I Had

During a yoga nidra exercise from Chapter 13, something unexpected happened: I started crying. Not dramatic sobbing, just quiet tears while focusing on sensations in my chest. I hadn't cried in years, priding myself on "staying strong." According to van der Kolk, this emotional numbness is common in trauma survivors—we disconnect from bodily sensations that might trigger emotional pain.

The most surprising part? I felt lighter afterward, not worse.

Week 3: Rediscovering Joy Through Movement

Van der Kolk emphasizes that trauma gets "stuck" in the body, and movement helps release it. I incorporated the rhythmic exercises from Chapter 16, despite feeling ridiculous dancing alone in my apartment.

Around day 18, I experienced what the book describes as "flow state"—complete immersion in movement without self-consciousness. For ten minutes, I felt genuinely playful for the first time since childhood. My perpetually tense shoulders relaxed. I slept through the night without waking—a rare occurrence.

Week 4: The Social Engagement System Awakens

The final week focused on interpersonal exercises, which terrified me most. I practiced maintaining eye contact while regulating my breathing (a simple exercise from Chapter 20). I noticed how quickly I'd previously look away when feeling vulnerable.

The change others noticed first: I started speaking up in meetings instead of rehearsing what to say and then staying silent. My voice literally became stronger and more resonant.

The Subtle But Profound Changes

No, I didn't experience a miraculous overnight transformation. What happened was more sustainable—a gradual rebuilding of my relationship with my body. Specifically:

Physical symptoms I'd normalized disappeared: the constant stomach knots, jaw clenching, and random heart palpitations I began recognizing emotional states through physical sensations before they overwhelmed me My sleep improved dramatically, with fewer nightmares and middle-of-night panic I stopped dissociating during stressful conversations

Perhaps most significantly, I developed a framework for understanding why certain situations triggered me so intensely, rather than beating myself up for "overreacting."

What I Wish I'd Known Before Starting

Van der Kolk's work emphasizes that trauma treatment isn't just about processing painful memories—it's about restoring the body's sense of safety and agency. The exercises aren't complicated, but they require consistency and self-compassion.

If you're considering a similar experiment, start small. Five minutes daily is better than an hour once a week. And most importantly: progress isn't linear. Some days I felt worse before feeling better, which is normal when reconnecting with sensations you've numbed.

No book or 30-day experiment magically erases trauma, but van der Kolk's body-centered approach provided something medication and talk therapy alone hadn't: a way to feel safe in my own skin again. And that changes everything.

Anger

 

The 30-Day Reset: A Month-Long Journey to Reclaim Your Best Self-Karma Gaia

 

We all reach points in life where we feel disconnected from our true potential. Perhaps you're stuck in unfulfilling routines, struggling with negative thought patterns, or simply feeling that you've drifted away from the person you aspire to be. This is where a 30-day reset can become transformative—not as a quick fix, but as a deliberate pathway back to your best self.

Why 30 Days Matters

Thirty days provides the perfect timeframe for meaningful change. It's long enough to establish new neural pathways and begin forming habits, yet short enough to maintain focus and motivation. Research suggests that while complete habit formation may take longer, the 30-day mark represents a critical threshold where new behaviors begin to feel natural rather than forced.

The Four Pillars of Reset

A comprehensive reset addresses four fundamental areas:

1. Physical Reset Our bodies influence our minds more than we realize. Begin with sleep hygiene—establish consistent bedtimes and wake times. Incorporate movement daily, even if just a 20-minute walk. Examine your nutrition and consider eliminating one processed food category for the month. These small physical adjustments create the foundation for greater changes.

2. Mental Reset Clear your mental clutter by establishing a daily mindfulness practice. Start with just five minutes of meditation each morning and gradually increase. Implement digital boundaries—designate specific periods for checking email and social media rather than constant connectivity. Keep a thought journal to identify and challenge negative thought patterns.

3. Environmental Reset Your surroundings subtly shape your mindset. Dedicate three days of your reset to decluttering your most-used spaces. Rearrange furniture to create better energy flow. Incorporate elements that inspire you—perhaps artwork, plants, or meaningful objects. A refreshed environment promotes refreshed thinking.

4. Relational Reset Evaluate your relationships with the same intentionality. Identify energy-draining interactions and set appropriate boundaries. Reconnect with those who inspire and uplift you. Practice vulnerability with trusted connections. Consider a social media audit, unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison or negativity.

The Implementation Framework

Days 1-3: Awareness Begin by observing current patterns without judgment. Document your typical day, noting energy levels, thought patterns, and emotional triggers. This creates your personal baseline.

Days 4-10: Elimination Identify and remove obstacles to your best self. This might mean clearing physical clutter, reducing screen time, or stepping back from draining commitments.

Days 11-20: Integration Introduce new habits aligned with your vision. Start small—research shows that micro-habits have greater staying power than ambitious overhauls.

Days 21-30: Reinforcement Focus on consistency rather than perfection. Use visualization techniques to reinforce your new identity. Create accountability through sharing your journey with a trusted friend.

Beyond the 30 Days

The true power of a reset isn't in the initial 30 days but in what follows. View your reset not as a one-time event but as the foundation for lasting change. After completion, evaluate what worked, what didn't, and what needs adjustment. Identify one or two key practices to maintain indefinitely.

Remember that transformation isn't linear. There will be setbacks, and that's part of the journey. What matters isn't perfection but the willingness to begin again, armed with greater self-knowledge and clearer direction.

Your best self isn't some distant, idealized version of you—it's the authentic you that emerges when you align your daily choices with your deepest values. A 30-day reset simply clears the path for that alignment to occur naturally.

Are you ready to begin?

How ACT Breaks the Achievement-Happiness Trap-Karma Gaia

 

"I'll be happy when I get that promotion.""Once I reach my goal weight, everything will be better.""If I can just get my house perfectly organized, I'll finally feel at peace."

Sound familiar? These are the whispers of perfectionism—a relentless taskmaster that keeps happiness perpetually out of reach, always dangling just beyond your next achievement.

The Achievement-Happiness Trap

For perfectionists, life becomes an endless treadmill of accomplishments that never quite satisfy. You achieve one goal only to immediately set your sights on the next, constantly chasing a sense of worthiness and peace that remains elusive.

This pattern isn't just exhausting—it's a scientifically-proven path to psychological distress. Research shows perfectionists experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout while paradoxically reporting lower life satisfaction than their less perfectionistic peers.

Why? Because they've fallen into what psychologists call the "achievement-happiness trap"—the mistaken belief that accomplishments lead directly to contentment.

Enter Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT offers a revolutionary alternative to this cycle by challenging its fundamental premise. Rather than pursuing happiness through achievement, ACT invites us to create a rich, meaningful life alongside our difficult thoughts and feelings.

The approach works through three powerful mechanisms:

1. Defusion: Breaking Up With Your Inner Critic

Perfectionism thrives on fusion—the tendency to treat thoughts as absolute truths rather than mental events. When your mind says, "I need to be perfect or I'm worthless," ACT teaches you to recognize this as just a thought, not reality.

Try this: Notice a perfectionistic thought. Now imagine prefacing it with "I'm having the thought that..." This simple shift creates psychological distance, helping you see thoughts as mental weather rather than commands to obey.

2. Acceptance: Making Room for Discomfort

Perfectionists often believe they must eliminate anxiety, self-doubt, or feelings of inadequacy before they can be at peace. ACT proposes the opposite: true freedom comes from willingness to experience these uncomfortable feelings without letting them dictate your actions.

When perfectionism arises, try asking: "Am I willing to feel this discomfort if it means moving toward what truly matters to me?"

3. Values-Based Living: Finding the "Why" Beyond Achievement

Perhaps ACT's most potent antidote to perfectionism is its emphasis on values—the qualities of action that give life meaning beyond external markers of success.

A perfectionist might clean their house to avoid criticism. Someone practicing ACT might clean the same house as an expression of their value of creating a welcoming space. Same action, dramatically different relationship to the task and its outcome.

The Paradox of Letting Go

The most liberating aspect of ACT is its central paradox: when you stop trying to feel good all the time and instead commit to living meaningfully even amid difficult emotions, you often end up feeling better anyway.

By loosening perfectionism's grip, you can finally experience the peace that achievement alone could never deliver—not because you've reached some perfect state, but because you've stopped demanding perfection from yourself in the first place.

This isn't about lowering standards. It's about changing your relationship with achievement from one of desperate necessity to one of chosen purpose. It's about breaking free from the exhausting belief that your worth depends on your next accomplishment.

In the words of ACT founder Steven Hayes: "The question isn't whether you'll have pain—it's whether you'll have pain with purpose."

Perhaps true peace isn't found in perfect achievement after all, but in the willingness to pursue what matters most while making room for the full range of human experience along the way.

Gratitude

 

CMHA HALTON-BUILDING BLOCKS

 Next session is tomorrow April 9th 2025.  Hope to see you there!!!  You won't regret it!

CMHA HALTON- our new Peer Support drop-in group Building Blocks! 

The 2nd & 4th Wednesday of each month, 11am-12:30pm at our Oakville office. 

Listen & share on health & wellness topics followed by yoga & mindfulness. More & register: https://halton.cmha.ca/peer-support/

No props are needed.  

Come just as you are.   

All 16 and over are welcome.

A space to heal and practice.   

Building on the Body’s Wisdom.  

WHERE:   Canadian Mental Health Association Halton                     

1540 Cornwall Road, Unit 102   Oakville 

I really highly recommend these drop-in days.  

A few of us went and we felt amazing afterwards. 

 Gabe is an exceptional facilitator.  

She is very passionate and knowledgeable.  

I really enjoy all of the classes that she runs.  

Gabe is a very patient and flexible facilitator.

She also gives the best hugs :)

Come join us this Wednesday

**Just an FYI there will be no session on March 26th but all will proceed again on April 9th.

Zen

 

Resources for EFT and other modalities - Shared by Julia

I  met Julia awhile back as she had a presentation in a home of a friend of my friend.  

I had heard a little about EFT in my past and had minimal introduction to this a few years back.  

I was eager to learn more about EFT.  

The presentation by Julia was very informative and quite interesting.  

I am happy to have had a session with her not too long ago.  

It was very rewarding to have this session with Julia.  

We did some tapping, she had statements for me to say specific to me as we tapped.  

It was eye opening to have felt and expressed what I did with her during this session.  

I felt very comfortable sharing with her.  

She easily made me feel safe and seen as we did this exercise.  

I look forward to doing more work with Julia in the near future.

Please see below; a link to her website along with info on resources she so graciously shared with us all:

https://www.insyncwithyourbody.com/

Peta Stapleton

Researcher in Australia. You can read about the research and effectiveness of EFT on her

website. The information is easy to understand. There are videos, articles and infographics.

https://www.evidencebasedeft.com/

EFT Universe

Free material about EFT. Videos, articles, EFT manual and free and paid courses, books and

meditations.

https://eftuniverse.com/

EFT International

Free information and resources for EFT, including manuals in different languages

https://eftinternational.org/es/eft-espanol/

Steve Wells

He created a variation on clinical EFT called “Intention Tapping”. There a many webinars with

demos in the blog section of his website

https://intentiontapping.com/

Brad Yates:

He has thousands of videos on YouTube and brings out a new one every week. He has

several free events throughout the year and free resources on his website.

https://www.tapwithbrad.com/

Bruno Sade, Argentina:

He is a therapist in Argentina and writes excellent articles in English and Spanish

https://brunosade.com/es/brunosade/

EFT books for children:

“The dragon with flames of love”, Deborah Miller

She uses EFT with severely sick children in a hospital in Oaxaca, México

https://deborahmiller.org/

“Gorilla Thumps and Bear hugs”, Alex Ortner

Introducing children to tapping

Other useful resources:

Resources for resilience

Simple exercises for different situations and emotions. Short videos and explanations in

various languages.

https://r4r.energypsych.org/

Heart Math Institute

Their websites has lots of free material for children, adolescents and adults to learn how to use

our heart energy to regulate emotions and create a more peaceful world.

https://www.heartmath.org/

Sleep

 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)-Tapping

 When and how to use EFT?

 Regularly:

When you wake up, during other activities like watching TV, the News, etc

It helps to regulate and tone your nervous system

 While you learn something new or study for a test

 When you can’t remember a word or where you put something (your keys)

 Prepare for and during an exam

 Preparing for an event, presentation, family gathering, Christmas

 Before going to the dentist or doctor and during the visit

 While driving (when it is safe to do so)

 Tap with your children, have them tell you about their day while you tap on them or with them

 While you are waiting in line

 To attain a goal

 Pain or feeling unwell, physical issues. 2/3 of the perceived pain can be attributed to emotional issues

 Tap with a friend: “tap and talk”, “tap and rant”

 Work with a trained EFT practitioner

1. Where in your body do you feel the emotional issue most strongly?

2. Determine the distress level in that place in your body on a scale of 0 to 10, where

10 is maximum intensity and 0 is no intensity:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0

3. The Setup: Repeat this statement three times, while continuously tapping the

Karate Chop point on the side of the hand (large dot on hand diagram below):

“Even though I have _______ (name the problem), I deeply and completely accept

myself.”

4. The Tapping Sequence: Tap about 7 times on each of the energy points in these 2

diagrams, while repeating a brief phrase that reminds you of the problem.

5. Determine your distress level again on a scale of 0 to 10 again. If it’s still high,

say:

“Even though I have some remaining _____ (problem), I deeply and completely accept

myself.”

6. Repeat from Step 1 till your distress level is as close to 0 as possible.

 

Italian Cultural Centre of Milton
104 Tremaine Road,
Milton ON L9T 2W9

Phone Number

905-878-3462

Contact

General Inquiries: info@iccm.ca

ICCM – Who We Are

The Italian Cultural Centre of Milton is a non-profit social hub and event venue for weddings, social & corporate functions.

Our mission is to provide inclusive, accessible social and recreational activities to our members, Supporters and the Milton community while promoting Italian heritage and culture.

Our Vision, is a community of cultural friendship, coming together to give back in Milton, Ontario.

Our Values:

Respect

Camaraderie

Accessibility

Sustainability

Their Garden

Their bocce lanes

OMG a group of us last summer had such fun coming to play bocce often.  

The atmosphere is astounding.  

The people here are such beautiful and kind people; such unique bonds created.  

It is a great stress reliever to come and play bocce.  

The food here made by Chef Cosmo is above par and super delicious.  

Come on out this year and check it out; create unforgettable happy memories.

EVENTS:

here are some pics from past events I have attended along with my friends

Please check out this link to see more of the great social events they have here at the ICCM

https://iccm.ca/events-seniors/

Holi Celebration

 

Simple, Mindful Shifts for a More Flowing and Functional Space-Mindful Gnome Wellness

 

Simple, Mindful Shifts for a More Flowing and Functional Space Hello Mindful Friends- As we move toward the season of spring, the talk of "spring cleaning" always comes up! Spring is a time of renewal and reset, a chance to freshen up our minds and even our homes and office spaces so we can feel renewed and inspired to tackle the possibilities and to-do list items that have been hiding all winter. This idea of "spring cleaning" can feel exciting to some and overwhelming to others- where do I begin? It’s easy to get stuck in the cycle of feeling behind, overwhelmed, and frustrated. We’ve all had those days when life feels cluttered—our minds are scattered, our to-do lists are endless, and the house seems to reflect the chaos we feel inside. But what if organizing didn’t have to be another exhausting task on your plate? By making small, intentional shifts, you can create rhythms that bring clarity, energy, and peace—both in your home and in your daily life. Let’s explore simple, doable ways to create more ease and flow while organizing your space, mind, and routines. 1. Care for Yourself First- A Strong Foundation Supports Everything Else Before diving into organizing, let’s start with you. If you’re running on empty, no planner, checklist, or storage bin will magically make life feel more manageable. Your energy, clarity, and ability to stay organized begin with self-care.  Prioritize Rest & Recovery: Sleep deeply, take intentional pauses, and allow space for mental reset.  Fuel Your Body with Intention: Nourishing, plant-forward meals help stabilize energy and mood.  Move Every Day: Whether it’s yoga, strength training, or a mindful walk, movement keeps your body and mind clear.  Create Pockets of Stillness: A few deep breaths, a 2-minute meditation, or even sipping tea in silence can shift your entire day. When you tend to your well-being first, staying organized stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like an extension of self-care. 2. Create Gentle Home Rhythms Instead of Rigid Cleaning Schedules Rather than forcing yourself into strict routines, set up small, manageable rhythms that make organization feel natural.  Anchor organization to existing habits: Wipe down kitchen counters while waiting for your coffee. Do a 5-minute tidy-up before bed as part of your evening ritual. Take a moment to reset a space before leaving it.  Use the “one thing at a time” approach: Instead of feeling overwhelmed by a messy home, pick one small area per day. Example: Monday – tidy the entryway, Tuesday – declutter one kitchen drawer, Wednesday – refresh your nightstand.  Follow the “home reset” rule: Before you leave a room, take one small action to bring it back to a peaceful state. Return misplaced items, close cabinets, or fluff the pillows—tiny actions create noticeable change. Why it works: When organization happens in small, consistent moments, it never feels overwhelming. 3. Declutter Your Mind & Space—Less Stuff, More Clarity A cluttered home creates mental overload, making it harder to focus, feel at ease, and move through your day with intention. Simplifying your space helps clear your mind, too.  Start with one small area. Instead of tackling an entire room, pick one drawer, one shelf, or one corner and tidy in 10-minute bursts.  Ask: Does this support the life I want? Let go of items that: No longer serve you or spark joy (thank you Marie Kondo). Are broken, outdated, or unused. Don’t align with your current needs or lifestyle.  Create “homes” for everything: Give items a designated spot, making tidying effortless instead of exhausting. Example: A basket by the door for keys, a tray on the counter for daily essentials, or a bedside basket for books. Why it works: A simplified, intentional home reduces stress and makes organization feel effortless. 4. Make Organization Rewarding & Enjoyable Shifting your mindset from “I have to clean” to “I’m creating a space that feels good” changes everything.  Pair tasks with something enjoyable: Listen to music or a podcast while tidying. Light a candle or diffuse essential oils after decluttering a space. Sip your favorite tea or coffee while organizing a drawer.  Celebrate progress, not perfection. Keep a before-and-after photo journal on your phone of spaces you refresh—seeing the change is motivating! Acknowledge small wins by saying them outloud: “I cleared off my nightstand, and now my bedroom feels peaceful.”  Make it a family or community effort. Get family or house members involved with small, manageable tasks. Invite a friend over for a “declutter & chat” session—support makes the process more fun. Why it works: When organization feels good, you’re more likely to keep up with it naturally. 5. Build Routines That Support Your Lifestyle, Not Overwhelm It The goal isn’t a rigid, hyper-structured life—it’s flow. Rather than forcing yourself into strict schedules, create gentle, supportive rhythms that make your days feel smoother:  Morning & Evening Anchors: Start the morning with a moment of stillness, an intentional stretch, or a nourishing breakfast. Wind down in the evening with a gentle reset ritual—dim the lights, put things back in place, and breathe deeply.  Habit Stacking: If you already make coffee each morning, add a deep breathing or a gratitude moment while waiting for it to brew.  Seasonal Adjustments: Your body and mind change with the seasons—adjust your routines to honor where you are. Think of this as a midlife rhythm routine reset—one that supports your energy and helps you feel more in control without feeling boxed in. Final Thoughts: A Home & Life That Feel Lighter The goal isn’t a Pinterest-perfect house or a jam-packed planner—it’s a life that feels aligned, flowing, and full of ease.  Start small. One shelf, one drawer, one mindful moment.  Create ease. Gentle rhythms make organization feel effortless.  Enjoy the process. Let go of perfection and celebrate progress. Bit by bit, your home and daily life will become lighter, more organized, and a space that truly nurtures you. So… now it’s time to begin. Happy "spring cleaning" Gnome-aste